Garden Yeti photo courtesy SkyMall
I hope you find my latest column for ABCNews amusing: A SkyMall Christmas Nightmare: Battles with Bigfoot. It’s about a dream (tall tale?) featuring a wide-range of unusual SkyMall gifts. And I do mean, unusual.
SkyMall Gifts for Travelers or Anyone
Where to find these gifts? If you’re flying, reach for the latest SkyMall catalog in the seatback pocket in front of you (U.S. airlines). If online, go to the SkyMall.com. Some of the company’s more unusual items featured in my column, in no particular order:
- Deluxe Smart Blanket ($44.99) For warmth during a flight, this blanket includes a “privacy hood” that can cover your entire head plus a snug little pouch for your feet.
- All Day Gel Seat ($119.95) This 3 pound seat cushion with “supportive memory foam” will soothe your aching back (and maybe, an aching behind).
- Darth Vader Toaster ($44.95) Who wouldn’t want the Star Wars logo branded on bread?
- Glow in the Dark Toilet Seat ($49.99) These seats will “safely guide your way for all late night bathroom visits” and you can choose a green or blue glow.
Health and Beauty
- Serenity Pod ($10,000). A futuristic fiberglass egg-shaped bed with mattress inside. This SkyMall exclusive was “created by the pod designer of Men in Black III.”
- Alpha Fuzion Sauna Body Pod ($15,995.00) Slip your entire body inside a giant clam shell-style personal spa contraption and enjoy a sauna, aromatherapy, vibrations and much more. SkyMall says it is “owned by many famous celebrities, VIP diplomats and athletes.”
- Life-Size Garden Yeti ($2,250.00) A six foot tall “startlingly realistic” statue of the Yeti, the mythically-fearsome denizen of the Himalayas. Also known as Bigfoot. When rampaging through the Pacific Northwest, you may call him Sasquatch.
- Large Bigfoot ($125) 28 ½ inches tall. Note: An employee of mine saw one on the front lawn of a house in Cincinnati; she said it looked startlingly real.
- Medium Bigfoot ($99.95) 21 inches tall.
- Bashful Yeti ($69.95) The top half of a Yeti; wrap him around a tree.
- Tortilla Baby Swaddle Blanket ($47.99) For burrito-loving parents, an infant blanket that resembles a tortilla. As SkyMall says, it’ll make your baby “look good enough to eat.”
- Men’s Padded Butt Enhancer Brief ($35.00). Underwear for men who presumably think they lack a certain something.
- Sasquatch Flocked Men’s T-shirt ($26.00) Bigfoot’s U.S. cousin adorns a T-shirt.
- Deluxe Hanukkah Star of David Tree Topper ($39.99) As SkyMall puts it, this is “perfect for both interfaith and-non interfaith households.”
- Ugly Christmas Sweater Do-It-Yourself Kit ($29.99) Don’t wait for Aunt Marge’s terrible gift, create your own tacky sweater now.
- Holiday Yeti Ornaments ($19.90 for a set of 3) SkyMall calls these “one-of-a-kind mythical stocking stuffers.”
- Seabreacher Customized Boat ($85,000) You can get one of these leaping boats painted to look just like a shark.
P.S. Happy Birthday, SkyMall
In 2015, SkyMall celebrates its 25th anniversary of selling products you never knew you needed. Congratulations.